Monster
by Sxphyre
Summary: L (Ryuuzaki) 's childhood friend, Nari, has found and begun to use the death note with her own perception of this "New World," she will begin to create. However, when she learns that the great detective chasing her with the alias of L is indeed her old friend, she quickly realizes that a happy ending is non-existent.
1. Prologue

**"****.. and then, monsters who tell nothing but lies. Lying monsters are a real nuisance: They are much more cunning than others. They pose as humans even though they have no understanding of the human heart; they eat even though they've never experienced hunger; they study even though they have no interest in academics; they seek friendship even though they do not know how to love. If I were to encounter such monsters, I would likely be eaten by them... because in truth, I am that monster," -L**

_**-Prologue-**_

_August 19, 1992_

"W-where are we going?"

"Home," the man said, looking at me within the car mirror. When he caught my eyes, I looked away and out the window almost automatically. There was nothing interesting to look at; empty fields and trees that were blurs and whiffs of green, until they slowly turned to mere specks. We were well out of the city, and we'd been driving for merely three hours. It wasn't until thoughts, fears, and worries began to prick my brain that I spoke again.

"Where's this new 'home'?" I asked, beginning to blatantly swing my feet, kicking the seat in front of me in the process.

"You'll see. I think you'll like it," he replied.

"Why do you think that?"

"Again, you will see," I didn't bother to ask another question, inferring I'd get the same response. Instead, I leaned my head against the cool, glass window beside me. My feet began to stop swinging, and my eyes got heavy. How much longer?

"Come on, we're here," A hard, rough hand began to shake me awake, and I rubbed my eyes. How long had it been? Without question, I unbuckled my seat belt and stepped out of the car.

"Let me formally introduce myself. My name is Watari. But please refer me as Mr. Wammy,"

"Okay," I said bluntly, wiping my eyes once more.

"For safety measures, we cannot call you by your real name, Nari," he said to me, and I frowned.

"Then what will you call me?"

"We have pre-prepared an alias for you. Your new name will be Akiru," I opened my mouth to protest, but I didn't think he would be willing to change his mind. So I just gave a slight nod, and he smiled.

"Very well. Now follow me," he said, and I followed him as he opened a large metal gate, and walking up the path to a large house that looked slightly like a manor. The air was a little colder than it normally was, and there weren't any other buildings around. I didn't know what kind of orphanage this was, but it was where I had to go.

Mr. Wammy opened the door to the large house, and I stepped in, warmth circling around me. There were small decorations and things that would've normally made me smile, but I kept a neutral expression.

"Please, take your shoes off," he said, and I instantaneously slipped my shoes off and picked them up. He motioned to a door, and I went over and opened it. It was a neat closet full of coats, with shoes in neat rows at the bottom. I bent down and put my shoes in an empty spot, and got back to my feet then closing the door, looking back to Mr. Wammy.

"Come on, now," he said, and we went around a corner then down the hall. From the end of the hall, I could hear a feminine voice speaking, and if I stepped softly I could make out what she was saying.

"That must be him! He should be here right away," she said, but I couldn't hear further because of Mr. Wammy's footsteps. When we reached the end of the hall, I cringed. There were a small amount kids, some in their high teens, some younger than that, and some no older than 12. They were looking at me. I knew how this would end, remembering kids at my previous school.

"Here is our new sister, Akiru," Mr. Wammy said, presenting me to this large group of people. There were smiles and smirks, but some kids had blank expressions. People were clapping softly, but I didn't feel as welcome.

"Akari, tell us about yourself," Mr. Wammy said, I all eyes were on me. I looked straight into the middle of the group, and began to speak.

"M-My name is N- I mean, Akari. I am fourteen years old, and, um..." I said, trying to avoid making eye contact with everyone looking at me.

"What do you like to eat? What do you do in your free time?" The woman asked, her eyes curious.

"I like to eat... food?" I said quietly. There were giggles and frowns from my audience, and I flushed. My eyes darted toward the back of the small, circular room. People who really didn't pay attention sat in the back, right? Aside from the group of two boys and a girl sitting with each other in the back, there was another kid that was further off, and looked like there was no one around him.

"Haha, I like her!" I heard in the midst of everything, and my hands began to sweat.

I began to try to focus on the kid in the back, who I thought to pay no attention to me, not caring at all. His long, black hair swept over his eyes, and he looked down at his hands as the murmuring came to a hush. I assumed it was time for me to speak again.

"And I like to draw," I said, remembering the countless hours I'd spent drawing on those lovely weekends.

"Very well then. Would any of you like to ask her a question?" I shivered, beginning to feel as if this was an interrogation.

"Blake?" the woman said, pointing to a boy with his hand up. I tried my best not to lose my cool, focusing intensely at the boy that was curled up in the back, picking and biting his nails.

"What kind of food do you like to eat?" he said, as if he was teasing me. Chuckles came up around the boy, while the rest of the small group looked up at me, awaiting a response.

"Um, well... I do like shortcake," I said, not looking to the boy that was called. However, when the word "shortcake," came out of my mouth, the boy I was concentrating so intensely on raised his head and looked up at me, causing eye contact to occur. His somewhat large, dark eyes surprised me, and I immediately flipped my head and turned it quickly in another direction, causing my hair to whip around my neck.

"Is she okay?" the boy asked, and my cheeks felt warm.

"She is quite alright, you are dismissed to your rooms," Mr. Wammy said, and the kids began to file out of the small room. I turned my head back, and saw the boy that was in the back, and he was just leaving, taking slow steps with his bare feet. He turned back to take a glance at me, and I immediately turned to Mr. Wammy to avoid it.

"You, Akiru, are in room 27. Toothbrushes, shampoo and soap and such are already up there for you. Make yourself comfortable," he said, and the woman next to him smiled at me. I nodded, repeating that number in my head.

_27. _

I walked down the hall of rooms that were up the staircase everyone had taken, and counted the numbers. 19_, 20, 21. _The walls made the atmosphere cozy, for they were half white, and half dark wood. I reached a door at the end of the hall leading to another hallway. _Probably separating boys and girls, _I thought.

_24, 25, 26..._ I approached the door 27, and wondered if it was my own room, or if I was sharing it with several people. I looked around at how many rooms there were, and decided against it.

I slowly raised my hand and knocked on the door.

"Come in!" at least two voices said in sync, and I twisted the door knob, but it didn't open. Suddenly, the door swung open slowly, and I walked into the nice, cozy bedroom. There were two bunk beds against the wall, a bathroom, a couch, and a bookshelf.

"So you're new?" the girl that let me in asked.

"Hm, yeah," I said.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Alice," she said, and she looked about my age.

"I'm Mayu," said another that was sitting on the couch, a book in her hands. She looked about 12 years old, maybe even younger.

"Sammy's in the shower now. She'll be out soon. I'm getting to bed," Alice said, walking over to the beds.

They all seemed friendly enough, but I wasn't very good with friends. Everyone at my last school... no one really cared. I didn't want to arouse conversation, so I went straight for bed as well.

"Which one's not... occupied?" I asked.

"The top bunk of that one," Alice said, and I climbed the short ladder to the bed on top. The sheets were cool, but not cold. I slipped into them and stared at the softly illuminated ceiling.

"Akiru, wake up, its time," My eyes opened slowly, and saw that the ceiling was now white. I sat up and quickly climbed down the ladder.

"I'm supposed to show you where breakfast is. Come on," she said, and I didn't bother checking my hair or cleaning myself up. I was very hungry.

"Akiru? You seem very distracted, are you alright?" May asked, tapping my shoulder. I looked away and back to her, and I shrugged. _Nothing. _She seemed to understand and went back to her cold pancakes.

I couldn't help but notice there was a person sitting across the room. All by himself. The thing that struck me was that no one else seemed to care. No one looked at him, everyone just went on like it was normal. I leaned over to Alice and whispered into her ear.

"Who's that?" I asked, and motioned to the boy sitting in the corner by himself, his dark eyes looking down at his fingers that he played with.

"Him?"

"Uh, huh,"

"To start off, he's freaking weird," she whispered back, and I stared back at her blankly. That's what everyone would say about _me_ at the lunch table where I used to go.

"He sucks his thumb, and he's probably about your age, thirteen or so. He always looks really tired, and he never eats. And look at how he sits! If you, well, consider that sitting," she continued. I looked back at the boy, but couldn't see his eyes since he had his head tilted down, and his mop of black hair covered his face from where I could see.

"C-Can we sit with him? It's making me a little sad, seeing someone like that..." I said quietly.

"You can sit with him, but I'm staying here," she said. I looked down at the table, then back up the the boy. I felt awful for not sitting with him, but something kept me from going.

_He's freaking weird._

He probably feels just how I felt. People talking about him like that behind his back. I immediately felt as if I understood, and I stood from my seat at the breakfast table.

"You're actually going?" Alice said, her eyes wide.

"Yes. Yes I am," I said, walking away from the lunch table. This was the first time I'd ever done this, but I knew how it felt to be that person. Heart pounding, I walked away from the few filed tables and walked to his. He didn't look up at me until I sat down awkwardly at the table. There was a silence, and I decided to break it.

"Hi," I said, trying to avoid his glance.

"Hello," he mumbled, looking down to his feet.

"Why are you sitting alone?" I asked.

"Why aren't you sitting with them?" he said almost inaudibly.

"Well, uhm..."

"You don't have to sit with me," he said.

"I uh..." I glanced back to the majority of people behind me, but soon shook my head.

"Then come wih me," I said, a little too straightforward.

"No," he said bluntly. The state that he was in made me wince, and I decided to refuse to leave him alone at the table.

"Why not?" I asked, althought I knew the answer.

"Why is that your concern?"

"I've... Been through this before. I know what it feels like," he kept quiet, so I continued.

"It feels pretty awful. To be isolated and have everyone talk about you," I said, "but I admire you,"

"Why is that?"

"I can tell that you don't care what they think. If not, I'd assume you'd at least try to fit in," he didn't speak.

"We can be friends, you know. You don't have to stay quiet when I'm talking to you,"

"Why are you doing this?"

"All students report to your classrooms," a voice came over the loudspeaker. All the students began to get up and leave, but the boy stayed seated. I got to my feet, and looked to him.

"What's your name?" He looked up at me with his dark eyes.

"Ryuuzaki,"

_August 21, 1992_

I took my tray over to the back of the room where Ryuuzaki sat. I took a seat, and Ryuuzaki was picking at one of his two slices of cheesecake that rested on his plate. I'd previously tried to arouse conversation with him, but he'd normally stay silent or mumble an inaudible response. I wasn't about to leave him alone, however.

"You like sweets?" I asked, observing his whole dinner consisting of two pieces of cheesecake.

"Yes," he mumbled, "I suppose,"

"I used to love them. I ate them every day," I said.

"As do I,"

"Two years ago, I weighed well over 230 pounds," I said, and he spontaneously looked at my bony arms and hands.

"Then..." I said, but didn't continue. My eyes began to tear up, remembering the pain of the hard metal slicing through my arm. I wasn't expecting it, but Ryuuzaki replied.

"Why?"

"W-what?"

"From the way you speak of this, I can tell you were- and might still be suicidal," he said, rubbing his lips with his thumb. I blinked in surprise, and bit my lip to keep myself from crying. He was exactly right. But how did he know?

"H-how..."

"I'm smarter than I look. " he said, his voice partially muffled by his thumb. I opened my mouth to speak, but then closed it.

"I'm not some little kid," he murmured, "I've stopped asking you to leave because I noticed that you don't want someone else to end up like you did," I froze in surprise, and knew that he could see right through me.

"Yeah... I don't,"

"That's kind of you," he said, "But I'm quite alright," I could tell that he knew it before hand. I took a deep breath.

"Well... I have nowhere else to go," I said. He didn't speak.

"I don't really have any other friends,"

"I'm your... friend?"

"Sure you are," I said with a small smile.

"I have... a friend," he rested his chin on his knees and the corners of his mouth rose slightly.

_November 5, 1992_

"Ryuuzaki?"

"Yes?" I sat on one of the four swings of the swing set. No one was at the small playground that was just outside of the house, mostly because it was for the younger children that came to the house. However, most were of an older age and just wanted to read and sleep.

"Do you know why they gave us fake names?" I asked, swinging slowly back and forth, the cool November breeze kissing my skin.

"I'd thought about that," he said, leaning on the support of the swings.

"Me too," I said.

"It could just be to represent us as a family,"

"Oh," I said, "That kind of makes sense, I guess,"

"I'm just not really used to people calling me Nari," Ryuuzaki turned his head and looked to me, and I blinked.

"Was I... not supposed to say that?" He looked down to the ground and fidgeted his bare feet.

"You get used to it after a while. I've been here for about a year, and I've found myself forgetting my real name now and then,"

"What is it?" I asked, putting my feet on the ground to stop swinging. Ryuuzaki looked away.

"Doesn't matter. You can call me Ryuuzaki,"

"I... okay," I said. I was still very curious, but I didn't want to seem nosy to him. I began to swing faster and higher, taking pleasure in the cool breeze that brushed my hair. I noticed Ryuuzaki wasn't staring at me, but the chains of the swing that I clutched with my fingertips. Back and forth, back and forth. When I noticed, I stopped and looked to him.

"You want to swing? I've always loved swinging," I said.

"I'm alright," he said.

"Come on! Let's swing," I said, grabbing his wrist with my hand and tugging gently. He just looked at me intently, and I realized how stupid it must've looked.

"N-never mind. I know it's childish. I used to swing every recces at the school I used to go to..." I said, looking down, "I just wanted to, I guess. You can go back inside if you'd like," I let go of his wrist and dropped my hand. He rubbed his wrist after I let go, and realized I might've gripped too hard.

"No. It was just that I wouldn't be able to stop myself without shoes," he said, and I looked down at his bare feet.

"Oh, that would be a problem. Along with a really bad burn," I chuckled slightly, and Ryuuzaki nodded.

_May 14, 1993_

I walked down the stairs, slowly stretching my arms whike yawning, and advanced down the hall and into the dining hall. I entered the back of the line and waited, and looked to Ruuuzaki's table. However, no one was sitting at that table. I pursed my lips, wondering where he could be. He was normally one of the first ones down here. I sat at the table after I got my breakfast, and looked around and waited while eating my warm toast.

I put the cinnamon roll that came with breakfast to the side for Ryuuzaki as I finished breakfast quickly and cleared the tray and silverware.

When I looked at the clock and it read. 7:30 I knew something wasn't right. Ryuuzaki almost never slept, and if he wasn't sleeping in, there had to he a reason he wasn't here. I wrapped the cinnamon roll in a napkin and left the dining hall, then went up the stairs leading to the rooms.

I didn't know which room he stayed in, but I wanted to know why he wasn't in the dining hall. Everyone was down there, so he should be the only one up here if he was. I just advanced down the hall, knocking on each door.

There was no response to every door I knocked, which kind of frustrated me. I didn't have any other guesses on where he would be.

When I went back to the staircase after I had knocked on all the doors, I heard one open.

"Yes?" I turned around because I knew it was Ryuuzaki's voice. I walked back to the door and he spotted me.

"Why aren't you at breakfast?" I asked.

"W-wh... I guess I lost track of time. I'm sorry," he said.

"No, there's no need to apologize. Is anything wrong?"

"No. I can go to breakfast now,"

"You can tell me if something's bothering you. By the way, I saved a cinnamon roll for you, " I said, and he took the cinnamon roll gladly. He then paused for moment.

"Thank you. But nothing's bothering me," he said, "It's beautiful,"

"Huh?" He walked back into the room and put the cinnamon roll to the side. Then he sat on the couch and began to slowly nibble his fingernail. He paused, as if listening intently.

"The sweet song of the birds," he said. I didn't hear anything.

"May I... Listen too?" I asked, and he nodded. I stepped into his room and closed the door behind me. I sat next to him, and focused. However, I heard nothing. I looked to the small window in the room and it was only a crack open.

"I can't hear very well. Can I open that a bit more?" I asked, and he nodded. I walked over to the window and pushed it open until it was about half way open. Then, I listened carefully, but there was simply nothing to hear.

"I must have really bad hearing," I said, sitting back down next to him. His face fell, and he looked down to the carpet.

"Is that so?"

"Yeah, because I can't hear anything. Maybe if I got a hearing aid I could,"

"No... it's normal,"

"What's normal?"

"No one can hear them. I mean... never mind. I'm sorry. I'm probably just crazy," he said, nibbling his thumb fingernail, avoiding my glance.

"Crazy? What are you talking about?" I asked.

"No one believes the things I say," he began to mumble.

"I believe you," I said to him.

"You can't hear them. Why should you?"

"Because I trust you,"

"You shouldn't," he said. Silence followed that, and I stared ahead blankly. Why did he doubt himself so much? It was making me feel sorrowful for him. I got up and turned to him, and put my hands on his shoulders.

"Ryuuzaki, I trust you. I believe in you. Not because you look trustworthy, not that you don't," I said, "But because of your outlook on the world. You inspire me from the things you say. The way you view mankind interests and and makes me think. I also look up to you. You can do things you need to do, and quirks you like to do in public. I... on the other hand, can never, and will never be able to do those kinds of things," I surprised myself, mostly because I kept eye contact with him even though it felt like he was staring straight into my soul.

"I ah, um..." he said, looking down and nibbling his thumb nail once more, "thank you-" it made me feel warm and happy to help as he said the next word.

"-friend,"

_January 11, 1994_

"Hey, I heard your that kid's girlfriend," Alice said, as I was briefly walking past her. I stopped and glared at her.

"What?"

"Over there," she said, pointing a finger. I walked down the hall in where she pointed quickly, and turned the corner. There was a bunch of people talking and walking, but I didn't see anyone in particular.

"You're sixteen, aren't you? Why do you suck your thumb?" I widened my eyes as I heard this statement, and quickly scanned the small group of people for Ryuuzaki. Trudging down the hall, a guy with messy black hair, a loose white shirt, and jeans continued on, like nothing was happening.

"Yeah? And do you even comb your hair?"

"Or take showers?" I cringed at the insults that were shot towards him, and I walked slowly along, thinking of what to do. I could've gone and told them all to shut up, but Ryuuzaki looked fine. However, I wouldn't let a friend just stand there in a case of insults being shot at him like bullets. My heart began to pound and I walked a bit faster.

"Do you even sleep? I bet he's an alien," some guy said as I passed him, and I slowed down.

"What did you say?"

"He's an alien. I mean look at him. He's so pale,"

"Shut up," I said firmly.

"Who are you? Oh that's right. His girlfriend," The insult struck me deep as I flushed red, but I shook my head fiercely.

"No. I'm just a friend. And Ryuuzaki's just like any of us, human, normal. He has an opinion, a mind, and common sense. What if someone said that you're an alien?" I said.

"I wouldn't care,"

"I hardly doubt that," the guy stayed quiet, and Ryuuzaki kept walking as the small group of people stopped following him. I looked ahead and stayed silent.

"Just let him go wherever he needs to go. Jesus," I said. I jogged down the hall and by the library to catch up to him. He was still walking at a slow pace, and looked like he was undisturbed.

"I'm... sorry you had to go through that," I said.

"You don't have to do that, Nari,"

"They were saying things about you! Right in front of your face... I can't just openly let that happen," I said.

"It's okay. I'm used to it,"

"But thank you, Nari. I feel in debt to you,"

"Don't mention it. You shouldn't," I smiled.

_October 27, 1995_

"Ryuuzaki?" I said quietly, stepping outside, feeling the cool breeze on my skin. The pattering song of raindrops pounded the ground, bringing a slight smile to my face. However, Ryuuzaki was sitting on a swing of the swing set, alone, and with downpour upon him. Confused and curious, I put a hand to cover my eyes from the rain, and slowly made my way over to the swing set.

"Ryuuzaki? Why aren't you at dinner?" I said approaching him. He looked unusually gloomy and stared at the circles of raindrops pounding on the soft ground beneath.

"Because I... wanted to swing with you," he said quietly, and a smile was brought upon my face, amid the rain and wind.

"Haha, anytime!" I said, not about to complain about the rain. He'd never asked me before, and I wasn't about to turn him down. I walked over and sat down on the swing.

"Wait..." I said, and looked over at Ryuuzaki.

He was wearing shoes.

Like,

real,

actual,

SHOES.

"You won't have trouble stopping with those," I said loudly, hoping he could hear me within the rain and wind. He just smiled a little, but I could still see gloom in his eyes. I didn't know what it was, but it was worth asking about.

"Why so sad?" I asked.

"I-It's nothing. These shoes just don't really take to my liking," he said, and I laughed.

"I wouldn't think so," I said, pushing myself and beginning to swing. However, Ryuuzaki rocked back and forth slowly, staring at the ground. I stopped myself quickly, my soggy hair whipping my face. I got up from the swing.

"Here, I can teach you," I said.

"No, it's just..."

"Here," I said, walking behind the swing and gently pushed him forward. He got higher and higher, and he looked back at me with a smile. I pushed him until he got so high I couldn't reach it any longer.

I made my way back to my swing and sat down.

"There you go," I said, and began to swing myself. We swung together, just the raindrops' song echoing through the air. I scraped my feet against the muddy ground to stop myself.

"Wow, that's pretty," I said, and Ryuuzaki turned towards me and stopped himself as well.

"You hear it?" he asked me.

"Yeah... I do,"

"I agree. It's wonderful,"

"I hear the drums. The deep, loud bass drums, and chiming snare drums. And the wind, dancing through the air, is much like a wind chime," I said, closing my eyes, drinking it all in.

"I... do as well,"

"See? I told you I believe you. This is beautiful," I said, standing up.

"Very," he said, looking to me. However, the sky began to become darker, and the faint rumble of thunder began to pierce the air.

"I've lost track of time. Come on, Ryuuzaki," I said, and he stood from his swing as well. Both drenched, Ryuuzaki and I made our way back to the building.

"We should do this more often," I said, "It was fun," However, Ryuuzaki's face fell and he only stared at the ground.

"Yes," he mumbled, "It was,"

"There's no need to be sad," I said, but his eyes were still gloomy. When we got into the protection of the small arch of the building, and smiled and thought of a way to cheer him up.

"Come on, be happy," I said, and threw my arms around him, digging my face into his shoulder. He began to rest his head on my shoulder, but his hands remained in his wet pockets.

"Let's get dried off, we're soaked!" I said, turning back to the building.

_October 28, 1995_

Grabbing a cinnamon roll concealed within a napkin, and walked up the stairs and knocked on one of the doors in the hallway.

"Ryuuzaki?" I said, continuing to knock.

"Ryuuzaki!" I said, beginning to knock louder and harder. I reached to the doorknob and turned it, but it was locked. Confused, I went back down the stairs, the faint tapping of my footsteps echoing throughout. I then walked to the commotion of the dining hall.

The smell of pancakes and egg flooded my nostrils, and I looked to the furthermost table to the left. However, nothing was there except for a napkin I had forgot to clear. Where was Ryuuzaki?

I checked outside on the wet playground and muddy swing set, but no one was there either. I walked outside and touched the chains of the swings, feeling the cool drops of water on my skin. I looked around, but he was still nowhere.

"Mr. Wammy, I've been looking for Ryuuzaki... do you know where he is?" I asked.

"Erm, Ryuuzaki?" he asked.

"Yes..."

"I know you two were close. But don't tell anyone," He said, and I cocked my head in suspicion.

"Ryuuzaki had been elected to become a great detective. He has solved many cases in his free time, and we've sent him off to Japan to pursue his carrier with his great intellectual skills and mind,"

My eyes widened, and my heart felt as if it was sinking to the floor.

"W-What?"

"He won't be coming back. Be happy for him, for receiving the honor of a great carrier," I shook my head, tears welling up in my eyes.

"Here's a secret..." He said, as if to cheer me up, "He's had this job offer for two years now, but denied it at the time,"

I didn't understand how that was supposed to help, and my heart felt as if it was being crushed into tiny pieces.

"And I think it was because of you," he said, putting a hand on my head. My jaw began to quiver uncontrollably, and I tried my best to blink away the tears. However, I didn't succeed. Tears began to stream down my cheeks and Mr. Wammy put his hands on my shoulders.

"He'd want you to remember him and smile, rather than you remembering him and crying," I looked up at Mr. Wammy, remembering Ryuuzaki's long, black, messy hair, his pale face and dark eyes.

"Ryuuzaki," I said quietly, and slowly smiled as tears continued to run down my cheeks.


	2. Purity

**Merp. So sorry about the lack of communication between writer and readers last time. *laughs nervously* yeah. So I hope y'all will be able to enjoy this.**

_August 22, 2001_

Without even thinking, the pencil within my hand began to dance across the paper, creating shapes and lines to represent a realistic object. My mind wasn't even focused on it, my hand just pranced to and fro. I began to shade, scribble, and highlight, focusing intently on the figure that I was drawing. The smooth, white was decimated by the dark, graphite piercing it from above.

"Akiru?" I blinked and turned to direction I head sound flow through the air.

"Yes?" I said, looking towards Roger.

"I've found another job offer, and I feel it might take to your liking," he said, and I shook my head.

"I'm alright," I said quietly. Most, if not all of the kids that I shared rooms with, ate meals with, and learned with were already gone from the Wammy's House. I was one of the few people that hadn't accepted a job offer yet. Normally people would strive and fight for these, but I simply had no interest.

"At least consider and or read the email," he said, and I put down the sketch pad in my hands on the wooden table before me. I got up from the couch and squatted down next to Roger and read the email thoroughly.

"Architecture. I feel it's the right mix of art, creativity, and knowledge for you,"

"Hm, it does seem like an interesting job," I said.

"Have we got an acceptance?" he asked.

"Not quite. I'm not going to deny it, but I'll take it into consideration," I said, sitting back down on the couch. I picked up the drawing pad and let my hand take over. I would glance up every moment or two, to make sure it looked like the figure in front of me.

"Take your time, Akiru," Roger said, folding up his slick black laptop and leaving the room. I began to finish shading the figure in the appropriate places, ensuring the lighting coming from one side and not the other.

When the drawing was finished, I held the sketch pad an arm's length in front of me, and I nodded in approval of myself. From the softly illuminated chains, to the top of the base, slowly shaded into darkness. I smiled at the sight of part of a swing set, and then closed the sketch pad and clicked the cap back on the pen.

I looked to the table, which had a small figurine of a swing set atop it. I picked that up and put it in its box, then gently placed it in my pocket. With the sketch book under my arm and pen in the other pocket, I made my way back upstairs to my room.

I let myself into the cozy, quiet room and I plopped on the bed. I scooted close enough to the window, and opened it wide enough, and plopped straight back down. I closed my eyes, digging my face into the mattress.

_Chirp._

_Tweet, Chirp. _

I lifted my head, these distant but pleasant sounds breaking the silence. I walked over to the window, where it was coming from. I touched the cool glass with my fingertips, and continued to listen intently.

A sound similar to a sweet violin echoed throughout my ears, and I leaned closer to the half open window to spot where such a sweet sound could come from. I see much except for plain field, so I closed my eyes to concentrate on it.

There were short concentrated sounds, but there were also long, beautiful sounds.

_Could this be it?_

I realized this must've been what Ryuuzaki had been talking about all those years ago. He was my only friend in this house of geniuses, both modest and bratty. I felt overjoyed and turned around, expecting him to be sitting there in the couch in his crouch position, staring intently on the ground.

Hover, all that was there was thin air. I turned away, my chest beginning to ache, but the sweet sound eased the pain.

_Thunk. _

Everything, including my thoughts and the birds, stopped as a faint sound was heard, of perhaps an object falling onto the grass or so. I cringed at whatever could be disturbing my moment of emotion. I glanced out the window, looking for the disturbance, and grimaced when I saw a black notebook resting on the grass.

Strange theories and ideas came to mind. Such as, _why would someone randomly throw their notebook out of their window? _or, _did it just fall from the sky? _

Confused and agitated, I rushed downstairs and out the back door to the playground. Whoever threw that notebook out the window would be chewed out by me and have a grudge held against them.

The crisp grass licked my bare feet as I walked forward to the thin notebook on the brush. I bent down and picked it up, and I shivered when I flipped it to the front of the notebook. On the front of the book read:

_Death Note _

Still a bit agitated, I ripped open the notebook to see a dark page with white ink atop of it. Becoming less agitated and more curious and confused, I read the text slowly.

_The human whose name is written in this Death Note shall die. _

I stared at the list of rules on the first page, eyes wide. I had no idea how I felt like it was true, but there was something that just told me it actually worked. I wondered if I should've gone to Roger and gave the strange notebook to him, but my curiosity took the best of me. _How would such a thing actually kill a person? _Hesitantly, I put the thin notebook under my arm and silently made my way back to my room. I quietly shut the door behind me, and took a breath of relief when I saw that it was empty. I sat down on my bed, closely observing the notebook. I laid still, and looked at the open window. However, I couldn't hear anything. Shrugging it off, I read on to the next few rules.

_This note will not take effect unless the writer has the subject's face in mind while writing his/her name. This is to prevent people sharing the same name from being effected. _

As I continued to read the rules, I frowned when it didn't tell me how it actually killed people._  
_

_Maybe this thing's just a joke. _

At first I took it into consideration, but I didn't really want to believe it now that there was no proof, information, or facts of the matter. I didn't _want _to. However, something told me it really worked, but I tried to convince myself otherwise.

_Maybe just a joke that was well set up. _

I nodded in approval of my excuse, and debated whether to throw the note straight out the window. But what would stop someone else from picking it up, and actually _using _it?

I looked to the clock, and noticed it was pretty late. Where were all the others? I quickly hid the death note in my drawer of the dresser, placing clothes atop of it. After I closed the drawer, I began to leave the room when I heard a voice behind me.

"Hello there," I froze, my eyes wide. There wasn't anyone else in the room that was with me. I slowly turned around and shrieked at what I saw.

A large, white skeletal creature stood before me, its head almost touching the ceiling. Starting to panic, I backed up and hit the door that was behind me. Beginning to breath hard I reached for the doorknob.

"Nari," it said, and I shivered. How could it know my name?

"H-how..." I tried to speak, but the words wouldn't come out.

"Calm down. I'm not going to hurt you," it said, however I still clutched the doorknob within my fingertips.

"I gave you that death note for a reason,"

"What..." I let go of the doorknob and put them in front of me to show I was innocent.

"I haven't used it yet, well, I didn't want to use it,"

"You are free to, however," I blinked and slowly shook my head.

"Perhaps this is a little rushed. I am Rem,"

"R-Rem,"

"I am a Shinigami, or death god,"

"A Shinigami...?"

"This is reality Nari," Rem said, its droopy, purple hair concealing most of its face. I didn't want to believe I had just met a death god, but I couldn't deny it either. I had also almost fooled myself into thinking the Death Note didn't work, but of course I was wrong too.

"How do you know my name? And how did you get in here?"

"I can see your name. And everybody else's,"

"Erm, wouldn't everybody else freak out if they saw you?"

"Not quite. No one else can see me if they do not touch the death note. So be careful if you wish to talk to me in public," My eyes began to well up, and I stumbled over to the couch and collapsed. I rested my head on one of my hands, and bit my lip.

"What is it, Nari?"

"I... well..." Rem looked to me intently, and I felt like I could just tell her all of my troubles. She was a god anyway, right?

"I was thinking about how fascinated he would be with this..." I said, walking back over to the dresser and picking up the notebook. Rem continued to stare at me, but her eyes were soft and understanding.

"Ryuuzaki. He was my only friend. I learned so much from him," I tilted my head upwards to prevent my tears from spilling out of my shallow eye sockets then rubbed my nose.

"I can only wonder if I repayed the favor. Sometimes..." I trailed off, and looked to Rem.

"I think of him, and I can't help but wonder if he thinks of me..." I suddenly shook my head, "I'm sorry. You being a god, probably could care less,"

"He... thinks of you as much you him," Rem said, "You were also, his only friend. Perhaps in his childhood, or even ever," I had no choice but to continue to stare at the sofa beneath me, blinking back tears.

"How would... oh right, you're a god," I said, "Should I trust you?"

"That's your decision,"

"I want to believe you. But what if he's all caught up in his work, and has forgotten all about me," I said.

"He hasn't," Rem said, and put a skeletal hand on my shoulder. I blinked and looked up at her, but her eyes said she meant no harm. It was all strange, really. Talking about problems with a god of death, owning a notebook that could kill with just a name and face... it all felt like a dream. But hey, that's how lonely I was at the time.

"I don't know what I'm going to do with the death note. I'm a mess, I can't even make decisions. I don't know where to work, or even if I want to work. Ryuuzaki's insight always helped me,"

"Nari, you are capable of anything. You have a great mind, as well," Rem said. I hugged the notebook to my chest, not caring too much that it was a death notebook.

"This notebook can give you a lot of things, it is just how you choose to use it," I closed my eyes, and thought of what I could do. The first thing I thought of was obviously kill people. But what for?

"Mayu, that's ridiculous! In your dreams!" I heard the door swing open, and noticed I still had the Death Note against my chest.

"Come on! I can do it! I'll be the best of them all!" I slid the notebook under my shirt, seeing there was no other option. They were talking about casual stuff, probably referring to the top ten students in the house. I never showed much interest in it, and had only looked at it twice ever since I'd gotten here nine years ago. Ryuuzaki was first both times, while I was lingering at 7th or 8th.

The two girls went to the bathroom to get cleaned up, and I made my way to the dresser, hugging myself tight. I slid open my drawer of the dresser and took out the notebook, and carefully placed-

"Akiru, what are you hiding from us?" My heart stopped, and I turned slowly.

"I... this is just another drawing book, like you care," I said, and continued to place it gently on the wood base.

"Why is it with your clothes?" Mayu asked, and I cringed.

"Because I need to remember it tomorrow for something important!" I lied.

"What's so important?" I shook my head, annoyed at how nosy these girls were. I mixed clothes on top of the notebook, and looked back towards them, now beginning to walk over.

"The sunrise!" was the first thing I could think of, "At this time of year, the sunrises are so beautiful, I need to draw at least one," I said.

"Oh. Cool," Regan said, obviously showing no interest. Mayu picked up a book and climbed up her bunk, ignoring the topic as well. I began to relax, and Rem shot me a look.

"You're very good at lying, Nari," she said, and I opened my mouth to reply, but shut it and instead gave her another look.

After that, I made my way to my own bunk and lied down, staring at the wooden frame above me. I wondered about what Ryuuzaki would think and say about the death note if he were there. I could her his voice in my head.

_Killing is wrong, no matter the reason. _

_S...Shinigami? _

His mind worked differently than mine. I would jump to conclusions rather quickly, believing in stuff that didn't seem believable. Ryuuzaki, however, needs hard evidence for everything he does and says. Otherwise, he would stop himself.

I don't function like that. I use my instincts, and my instincts are usually right. I feel like I know the difference between right and wrong, so I follow through. However, Ryuuzaki ultimately does everything better than me, manipulating the facts with his own mind.

I closed my eyes, staring at the darkness, the absence of light.

_I wish you were still here to help me. _

The next morning when I was sure no one else was in the room, and I took the notebook out of the dresser and just flipped the pages, back and forth, back and forth.

"Rem, but what would be the use of killing people?"

"Whatever you make of it, I assume," she said.

"But Rem..."

"Yes?"

"How does it work?" I asked, looking her in the eye.

"You simply just write a name and envision a face,"

"No, I mean... How does it actually kill?"

"I... Shinigami's don't need to know that information, therefore we've never asked..."

"Oh... But I was thinking that the notebook itself couldn't really kill a person, well I'm going to need convincing if that's so,"

"There is a myth that there is a god higher than the Shinigami that reads them and kills them at will," I closed the notebook gently and placed it on my lap, staring at the crooked letters printed on it. This was no surprise to me somehow, I'd always felt that there were many things that had much more power than I that weren't necessarily just people.

I read over the few pages of rules again, and I found it strange of the exact times and seconds to be that precise.

"Hm, you are, indeed, different Nari," Rem said, gazing at my small hands and fingertips gently caressing the pages of the Death Note.

"Different?"

"Yes. Another Shinigami dropped his notebook in the human world," she said, "And he didn't hesitate to use it for his own purpose,"

"What was that purpose?" I asked, wondering what a death book could possibly be used for.

"He... I personally think he's truly... disgusting. He plans to rid the world of evil, and become a god,"

"The... flaw in that logic is that..." I began, hesitated, and began once more, "There is something wonderful called 'forgiveness'. No matter how big or evil the crime is, these are humans. This is us. Death, simply isn't the answer,"

"I... that's clever of you, Nari. I was thinking of another approach,"

"May I hear it?"

"If he begins to kill all those around him, he will eventually find flaw in those who he doesn't. He thinks himself as a god, so he will only find satisfaction in himself. Eventually, he will stand alone in this 'New World,' of his,"

"I agree completely..." I said, not surprised in how intelligent Rem was. I got up, and slowly walked to put the notebook back into the dresser. My mind began to wonder off as I gently placed it at the bottom of the drawer.

_Would it be more peaceful without those ruthless criminals?_

_No, killing is wrong, whatever the reason._

_It would possibly bring more peace, however._

_And what if I could be part of that? _

* * *

**Sorry this chapter took so long. I've been having pretty major writer's block lately. Leave a review if you'd like to see more. :) I hope the next update is coming much sooner than this one took.**


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